Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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