White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize