Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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