um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
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100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
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Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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