dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
