You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
