She is in my trunk
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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