So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just invented taco cereal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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