I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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