How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
