Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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