This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
