I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Randomize
