So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
