He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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