no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I will be naked everywhere
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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