I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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