I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
