There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
