If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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