She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have aggressive nipples.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
