i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
