my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize