Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
