Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
