I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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