Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
