She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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