At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
