I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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