I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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