i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
