this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
