this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
