real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
