There was a lot of him and a little penis
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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