I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
