she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
