"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
