i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
