dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
