If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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