Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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