3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Randomize
