why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
