Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
