This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
