That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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