Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
