You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
