i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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