margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize