I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
