i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
