why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
