Jerry, you need to find god
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
