I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
