u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
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The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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