i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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