before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
