He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It's just like the Real World with babies
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
