Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
