it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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