I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
