Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize