ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
