direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize